#7 – Teresa Halbach, or the guy that killed her

I am anxious.

There is nothing that makes me anxious.  I have anxiety.

Things may cause that anxiety to manifest.  When those things go away, I feel less anxious.  But the anxiety is not cured.

It’s like having a medical condition.  If you have asthma, you always have asthma.  You can take medication to get it under control.  It’s not like you are not able to breathe every second of your life.  Certain conditions, weather, or whatever will trigger a condition that you always have.  Because you sometimes do not have the symptoms does not mean you are cured.

I have anxiety.  Whatever.  Old news.  Sometimes everything’s cool and sometimes it’s not.

Facebook is cool.  I like it.  I use it to keep in touch with people and see how their lives are going.  It’s especially useful to keep in touch with people you know and/or care about but would otherwise not see or talk to that often.

I also use it to kind of consolidate web sites I like into one place.  You can tailor it to your interests.  I use it for news or entertainment or information or whatever.

It can get to be a bit much, though, especially when there is a big issue of the day.  I get it, Star Wars is coming out and there is ISIS and Donald Trump and police scandals and political scandals and a presidential race and Paris and Kardashians and on and on.  I would keep repeating the same stories with the same characters to get the most views I could until something else comes along too if it meant my sponsors would get as much exposure as possible.

Not that you should have noticed but I quit Facebook for like a month over this past fall.  I don’t watch much TV so for awhile there I had some clarity.  I did get a little bored and obviously came back.  I don’t like feeling uninformed.

Like I said, though, ignorance is not an excuse but can be bliss.

So this #7 blog was going to be about something different altogether, something about all the cousins I have and some comments on that.  There are a lot of them and I’m friends with most of them on Facebook and staying in touch with their lives is a big reason I am on it to begin with.  I’m sure I’ll get back to that.

But I was scrolling though my Facebook news feed not a few hours ago and I came across this:

It made me feel anxious.

I’m not going to get into the whole story here.  You can look this douchebag up on the internet and read all about this story if you want.  A quick summary, though:

Dude’s in jail for a long time for a rape he did not commit.  Some college kids and their professor help him get out with DNA samples or something.  He was out for awhile but then he and his nephew raped and murdered a woman.  I know they burned her body up in a bonfire after, but I don’t remember if they chopped her up first or not to make the burning easier.

I know I look at the internet too much.  You can find any type of statistic you want to tailor something to your point of view.  So I looked at a lot of sites.  Let’s just say that the number of murders in the US per year is around 15,000, plus or minus some thousands or so.

Yeah, that’s like 42 per day.  Today, 42 people were murdered in the United States.

If we didn’t get desensitized to those kind of numbers we’d probably go crazy.  If you thought about those numbers too hard you might feel a certain way.  You might feel…anxious.

I’m not sure why this particular murder has stuck with me over the years.  I pretty sure I can’t name any of the other 14,999 or so that may have happened that year.  I’m not sure why the story of her rape and murder, of her getting stabbed in the stomach and getting her throat slit still comes to me, years later.  The murder itself is not unique or better or worse than thousands of other murders.  The murder, or his circumstance may be unique, I guess.  It’s just kind of stuck there and comes up once in awhile.  Maybe because it happened in Wisconsin.  Maybe I’m just not all the way desensitized.

Her name was Teresa Halbach.

The news, or the internet, or the Facebook scroll tends to focus on the people that commit the murders rather than the victims.  I just searched for how to spell her name and the first listing that came up was the name of her murderer.

Here are a list of murderers I can name without looking them up:

  • Jack the Ripper
  • Hitler
  • Ted Bundy
  • Jeffery Dahmer
  • John Wayne Gacy
  • Ed Gein
  • Richard Speck
  • Son of Sam
  • Charles Manson
  • Stalin
  • Erik Harris and Dylan Klebold
  • Osama bin Laden

I mean, there are so many more, ones that I cannot name but know their face and know what they did.  I’m sure you can add to the list.  They killed a lot of people and it’s such a small list.

Here are their victims I can name:

  • Anne Frank
  • Oliver Lacy (Dahmer killed this guy.  The only reason I know his name is because he went to school with one of my cousins.)
  • Sharon Tate
The rest are just numbers, right?  One, tens, hundreds, thousands, millions.  Numbers but no names, no faces.
Can you imagine, though, what this one woman went through?  How scared she must have been?  How alone she must have felt?
Teresa Halbach, 1 in 15,000

Multiply x15,000.

They sell books and make movies and TV shows about and based on people who kill other people.  True Crime is a genre of media and entertainment.  People make money off of these people who kill other people.

So Netflix has this True Crime documentary series or something.  They have one coming out tomorrow about this guy.  I shouldn’t judge it because I have not seen it.  I’ll want to watch it but it’ll probably make me too anxious and I’ll have to stop watching anyway.  I feel like it is going to focus on him and not her but I don’t know that for sure.

Maybe there should be a True Victim genre.  Maybe there should be books and movies and shows about them and their lives before their murders.  Maybe we should focus on them and they would become more than just a number.  I’m not sure that would be quite as entertaining.

I’m ambivalent about the death penalty.  I don’t believe in Hell.

I do hope that this guy gets shanked in prison and burns for all eternity.

I’ll be less anxious by tomorrow.  I feel a little better just writing this down.  My wife and daughter are watching some show in the living room as I type this in the kitchen.  I’m not sure what it is but they are cracking up.  I’ll probably go watch that.  Maybe I’ll go on YouTube and look at some funny video clips.  Something with silly cats or silly babies or silly babies playing with cats.  But I’ll still have anxiety.

Fuck you Facebook and Netflix.

I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow!

#8 – Cousins, or We are Family (for real this time)




14 thoughts on “#7 – Teresa Halbach, or the guy that killed her”

  1. Watch the full 2 hour 20 minute Brendan Dassey interview with detectives on you tube and will see they did it. Brendan knows way too many details for it not to be true. Go to Peter Hyatts blog on statement analysis — they did it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s good to keep an open mind. You can be pro police and still realize that they can also be corrupt. Can’t lump anyone together because of the actions of a few. Good for you. Thanks for reading and for the comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Agreed / If you watch it your anxiety would be of a whole different type ..
    It would turn from how many murders take place to how many Murderers could be running free due to personal vendettas by law enforcement that result in innocent men possibly serving time for crimes they did not commit .

    I am extremely PRO police / but this documentary opens your eyes entirely to how the justice system does not always prevail and has failed miserably


  4. Hey Jennifer –

    Making bold statements that I cannot back up is my specialty.

    You are probably right, tho, I should watch it before I judge it.

    If he ends up to be innocent I’ll amend my statement to “whoever” killed Teresa Halbach is a douchebag and should burn in hell for all eternity. Until then…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You really should watch the documentary before you make bold statements that Steven Avery is a douchebag and a killer. After watching the documentary your anxiety may be worsened by the thought that a very likely innocent man was framed not once but twice by the people that are supposed to be protecting you and me. . . and this could easily happen to anyone.


  6. Hey Kev you don’t have to be sorry. I don’t understand my anxiety either. They call it generalized so it can be anything, I guess. I don’t know if they have specific kinds.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sorry, but i do not understand your anxiety issue here. You say after the verdict you would feel less anxiety when the guy rots in hell. This particular guy that you call a killer sat for 18 years in prison – innocent – and may now sit the rest of his life – MAYBE or i would say probably innocent again – in prison. Which means that the last time and peobably this time the real killer is out there. Now that should cause more anxiety or fear or angst or whatever you may call it. One because law enforcement does not ensure they ger the right guy and two because there is a possibility that you can be accused of a crime anytime. And if powerful people accuse you – you will suffer!


  8. Hey Rea thanks for reading and thanks for taking the time to comment!

    Yeah, I agree that I should watch. I don’t know if I can.

    FYI I frame my anxiety with satire ’cause I’m not sure I could deal with it otherwise…


  9. You really need to watch this documentary. It will make you anxious, and not in the satirical manner in which you have framed anxiety. You will be anxious for your own safety should you anger your local, even if it’s small town, police force. Then, you should express yourself. It would have more validity even if your view is unchanged. The other thing that may make all of us remember Theresa Halbach’s name is that her killer most likely is walking the streets and known to her family. We will never know because of the police agenda. It reminds me very much of Amanda Knox case. No one will ever 100’% know who killed thevenglush girl because of sloppy police work and prejudice. In this case, it sucks to be poor. Let’s not even discuss Brandon Dassey…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hey Joe thanks for reading and thanks for taking the time to comment!

    As I mentioned in the post I’m not sure I’m going to watch any of the series. I’ve followed this case from the beginning and feel like I’m fairly familiar with it.

    Your point is valid and you may be right. I feel like there is too much physical and circumstantial evidence against this guy and his nephew for them not to have done it. Whatever happened in the past doesn’t excuse anything. But conspiracies are a real thing and I don’t put anything past people in authority. If it ends up that this guy is innocent I’ll probably feel regret about calling him a douche and hoping that he burns in hell.

    I guess the larger point I was trying to make is how we treat real life murder and violence as entertainment and tend to disregard or forget the real human cost of the crimes. We need more victim advocacy and less focus on the perpetrators.

    Maybe the documentary goes into all that. If you have watched any or are going to watch let me know how it is maybe I’ll check it out after all.

    FYI I don’t think I’m spreading propaganda. Just spreading my opinion. Maybe those are the same things I’m not sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Someone close to her, boyfriend, lover, ex-lover a cop maybe…who knows, but I know this case stinks like corruption. These cops were PISSED at him for numerous reasons, mainly the Chief !! You NEED to look further into this case before jumping to conclusions and spreading propaganda.


  12. DID YOU EVEN WATCH THIS ?? Clearly the corrupt police that arrested him the first time were not to happy when he was exxonerated, so they made sure he would NOT get out and have a 400,000 dollar lawsuit AGAIN. Yes He was set up!! These officials in this case are disgusting, they totally wrecked his chances by spewing lies ALL over the media. Basically, tainted the investigation and made up this whole story. Then they make his nephew tell lies, and coerce him into a confession that was clearly made-up…


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