#17 – Engendered


Here are some things you may not be aware of:

  • You are not required to be “politically correct”, whatever that phrase means to you.  You can actually say anything about anyone at any time.  It’s in the Constitution.  People may not like what you say and there may be other types of repercussions depending on what you are saying, but you’re not, or should not go to jail for saying it.
  • You are not required by any laws to like anything or anyone.  You do not have to like other races, ethnicities, genders, sexual preferences, other gender identification.  You do not have to like or respect anyone you do not want to regardless of their job or position or status.
  • You can prejudge people.  Who’s going to stop you?  Judge away, based on skin color, appearance, gender, socio-economic status, the kind of music someone listens to, the people someone likes to date, the kind of clothes they wear, their weight, their car, where they live, how they talk, how many tattoos they have, how many kids they have, what religion they may or may not prescribe to, what school they go to, what job they have and on.  You can be prejudiced.  There’s no law against prejudging someone else.  C’mon, we kind of all do it, don’t we?
  • You can even prejudge and say bad things about the people you are prejudging as an example of how much you do not like them.

I probably should get off the internet.  Like stop reading every little blurb that comes across my Facebook or Twitter feed or whatever.  Chances are something will come along that will do nothing but piss me off.  Who needs it?

The actual news on TV is no good either.  It’s like a longer version of the internet blurby stories.  Longer does not mean anymore in-depth, though, so I avoid that too.

I think the issue I have is reliability.  I doubt if there ever was a golden age of reporting, and that tabloid and yellow journalism has always been a thing.  I don’t know if the news is ever 100% reliable or ever not slanted to a certain viewpoint.  I kind of feel like it’s now all driven by advertising or simply click bait.  I should probably just ignore news altogether.  Aren’t you burnt out on the presidential election already?  Or the war on terror?  Or the million of other issues the internet shoves at us daily?   They want you to react.  They are baiting you into it.  The internet seems like it’s just short news stories with comments below of everyone yelling at each other.

But at what point is ignoring the news ok?  What are the issues that bring you back into the fray?

Maybe none of them.  Or maybe all of them.

I came across this tiny news story from one of my local TV stations.


You can read it, it’s not much.  Basically, though, it’s the transgender bathroom issue.  You can probably guess which side our Governor Walker is on and how the state – the entire state of Wisconsin and other states, apparently, are suing the President for decreeing that students be able to use the restroom with which the identify with.

The comment section basically blew up and I commented and responded.  But then I found myself commenting on and responding to every comment I didn’t agree with and realized that to continue to do so would exhaust me and take all night.  So I’m writing this instead.

Like I was saying, you can believe and say and think whatever you want.  You actually hate whatever you think you are hating.

But your can’t, or at least aren’t supposed to be able to do anything about it.  Just because you don’t like the way someone is doesn’t mean you are allowed to discriminate or legislate against them.

So I’ll respond to some of the comments I saw here on this blog instead of there where I saw it on the Facebook.

  • Oh, the children!  What about the children?  We’re protecting the children against predators!  Ok, so before the bathroom became an issue, do you think it was possible that your child was in a public restroom with a transgendered person?  It’s probably hard to say for sure, but I’m going to go ahead and say yes.  They have.  And nothing happened.  Wasn’t this kind of a non-issue before someone made it an issue?  Who made it an issue?  Was it in response to an issue?  I honestly never heard of any problems with the bathrooms before governments started trying to legislate who could go to the bathroom where.  Maybe I haven’t been paying attention. It seems to me, thought, that the implication is that it’s the transgendered who are the predators.
  • Has there been a study that shows where children or anyone else for that matter have been harmed by transgendered people at a rate equal to or higher than just a “regular” person?  I don’t know, maybe there is.  If there is, I’d sure like to see it.  Who molests and assaults people more in public bathrooms, “regular” people or transgendered people?  If there’s not, shouldn’t there be one before we make such a big issue?
  • If there’s no study, or even if there is, can’t a child or a woman or a man be assaulted by a “regular” person in a public bathroom as well?  Isn’t it likely that that has happened?  Maybe we should have separate adult and children restrooms.  But those would have to be separated by gender too, wouldn’t they?  But should kids or adults have to go to the bathroom with homosexuals? And if not, do the homosexuals have to be split by gender?  But if the gays have a bathroom all their own, won’t they be able to have the sex in their own bathroom all the time then?
  • Well then, what about other people that may make me uncomfortable?  What if I don’t want my child in the restroom with a Muslim because of the terrorism?  Or a black because…the blackness?  How many different bathrooms should we have?

Maybe that’s not a good comparison.  Maybe that’s silly or offensive, comparing race and transgendered.  Maybe.

  • Where have the morals gone?  Ok, so who’s morals?  Yours?  What if we don’t share the same morals?  What is the morality issue of being transgendered? Because you don’t like something does that make it immoral?  I’m not a student of religion by any means.  I’d like to know what the worlds religions have to say about transgendered and if they say where they should be allowed to go to the bathroom.
  • So we have laws, right?  It’s against the law to molest or assault or hurt another person, in the bathroom or anywhere else.  If a “regular” person commits a crime we hope they will get caught and go to jail.  If a transgendered person commits the same crime WE HOPE THEY WILL GET CAUGHT AND GO TO JAIL. See, the law though.  So unless we’re saying that transgendered are more likely to commit the crimes we’re talking about, what is it that we are talking about?
  • If there’s no law against it, predators will pretend to be transgendered in order to prey on kids and women.  See, if someone is going to assault a child, the laws we have aren’t stopping them.  Also, because we’re making such a big deal about it, we’re again making an issue where there was none.  Dudes are faking to try to prove a point or are actually committing crimes because it’s all this big deal now.

One woman in the comments was arguing states rights vs. the federal government or president making “decrees” or laws:

  • I know states rights are historically a thing.  But I feel like these kind of “decrees” or laws or rulings at a federal level over states rights have been made to prevent types of discrimination or exclusion.  This country of ours fought a war ostensibly about states rights, if I recall my history correctly.
  • Honestly, I feel like if someone is making a states rights argument these days it’s seems to be about the right to exclude or deny something or someone.

Maybe making the link between a bathroom law and civil rights or slavery is a bit much.  They don’t really deserve to be in the same argument probably.

But what then are we (they) trying to legislate?  Is there really an imminent danger to anyone if these laws are not in place?  If not, aren’t we (they) trying to legislate something and someones they don’t like?  That they don’t agree with?  And once we (they) start legislating based on stuff we don’t like where will that lead?

We’ve been down this road.  It’s just a bathroom.  Maybe I’m making too big a deal about it.  It’s just transgendered people.

I’d rather the people that comment like they do just tell the truth and save their weak arguments.  Just say you don’t like it that some men are actually women and some women are actually men.  Just say it and say that’s why you would like these kinds of laws because it does not fit with how you see the world or what you are comfortable with.  We could all save some time that way.

If we can legislate in this instance, something we don’t like or agree with, what else can we legislate against transgendered people?  What other kinds of people can we legislate against?  Is it possible that you or I are part of a group that someone else will try to legislate against someday?

Someday soon, and I’d dare say it’s already happened, a transgendered person will commit a crime against someone, in a public bathroom or otherwise and the Internet will probably explode.  Being transgendered doesn’t make you special – good, bad, whatever.  But one thing does not make the other one possible.

So laws like this, others – fighting against gay marriage, whatever, you’re on the wrong side of history.  This is the way it’s going.  The marginalized aren’t going away.  You don’t have to like it, but you’re not supposed to be able to make laws against it.

Honestly I try and respect peoples opinions and their right to them.  I probably won’t agree with you because I’m just like that but you can say and think whatever you want.

Stop trying to exclude, though, and stop hiding your exclusion behind your silly arguments.  Stop it.  Just stop it already and let people be.

Jesus, sometimes you have to pee, you know?







4 thoughts on “#17 – Engendered”

  1. Never heard of that word but yes I’m using “regular” in quotations. I mean it ironically as a person is a person, and just because a person does not fit into what the mainstream or majority may find “regular” doesn’t mean that they are not. I’m glad you get it. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think what’s even more disheartening than people spouting off in the comments like that, is when they spout off and no one calls them on it or argues against it. So thanks for your efforts in arguing against these people.

    Personally, I’ve been trying to avoid the news lately (especially the comments!) for the sake of my own mental health. I’m trans, and this whole bathroom thing is scary and highly upsetting, and I even live in a place that’s fairly liberal and has non-discrimination laws that include trans people. But the spotlight is suddenly on people like me, and things are happening on a national level, and what if it gets to the supreme court and they don’t rule in favor of non-discrimination?

    People whine about protecting the women and children from non-existent predators taking advantage of laws ensuring that trans people can take a piss, but hardly anyone is talking about the safety of trans people. And trans people’s safety in using public restrooms is a major issue. A study in Washington D.C. found that 68% of transgender respondents had experienced verbal harassment when using public restrooms, and 9% had experienced physical harassment (see: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/masen-davis/transgender-people-need-safe-restrooms_b_3492067.html).

    Anyway, I assume you are using the term “regular” people to refer to non-trans people because you don’t know a word for non-trans people? Because there is a word for that. It’s cisgender.

    Liked by 1 person

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