Sooo lazy. I have so many other great and cool ideas for these blog posts. I write ’em and type ’em and they go in these endless loops of nowhere so I delete them. Writing is hard and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Screw, I’ll just write one of these random post things. You couple people keeping track like them anyways.
242. I’m aware that people don’t say or write ‘anyways’ and the correct word is ‘anyway.’ Anyways.
243. I’m thinking of getting one of these three designs for my next tattoo. Maybe I’ll get them all, but not at the same time. Target is Q1 2017.
244. I’ve only ever read one actual published book where I knew the author. It was a hard read.
245. While it’s true that I skeeve (is skeeve a word? My Grandma Carmela used to say it. My sisters say it now. It means you think something is gross or nasty or something. Like something is skeevy) public restrooms and buffets and potential germs, and while it’s true that I never or rarely touch public door handles with my hands, and that if I do I try not to touch anything until I can wash my hands, and that I refuse to eat office food because everyone there is gross (well not everyone but a few is enough to spoil it for everyone) and that I have a block in my mind that does not allow me to think too hard about what may go on in the kitchen in a restaurant so I am able to eat out or that going #2 in any public bathroom MUST BE A 5 ALARM EMERGENCY OR IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, and that I do not let anyone use my work phone and get very uncomfortable if people there use my keyboard or touch the mouse, and that most people know better than to sit in my seat at work because there is nothing worse than sitting in a chair and feeling the warmth of another person’s ass and that I in general check expiration dates whenever I eating at someone else’s house and that I may throw out food at home a bit earlier than is warranted, and that I think shaking hands is an outdated means of greeting (how about a fist bump? Or a head nod? Or a forearm bash? Or a simple ”sup?’) and I barely wait until the person I’ve shaken hands with is out of view before I wash them or use sanitizer, I am not, in fact, a germaphobe like some people have claimed. A lot of what I’m doing is just for effect. I’d call me germ-concisous, or germ-aware. I don’t really get sick that much, FYI. Go ahead, keep shaking hands. You’ll all get the plague someday.
246. I know I’ve said before that’s I’d like to be cremated or some other kind of option rather than embalmed, put on display, and buried. I came up with the best option the other day. I told my wife I’ll like to be taken to a taxidermist and stuffed. I told her she can just put me on the couch and everyone can go on with their lives like nothing happened. She didn’t think that was a good idea so I told her just mount my head on the wall like a deer head or something. The only condition is that she can’t shave off my beard.
247. Why, when corn has not been taken out of its husk, is it called an ear? Or is it after it’s been taken out? Where does the ear part come from anyways? Why not just call it corn? Is the whole thing corn or is it corn once it’s off the cob? People eat corn on the cob – how come when it’s the little individual corn(s?) we’re not eating corn off the cob?
248. What is the plural of consensus? Consensuses? Consensi? I like consensi better I’m going to use that.
249. We were talking about Superman the other week at work and I wondered aloud about the feasibility of Superman and Lois Lane coupling, if you know what I mean. So, does Superman have control in that department? Can he slow things down, as it where? Or is it out of his control, and if so, does it happen at super-speed? If it is, then I feel like the first time he and Lois got together would probably be the last.
250. It seems to me that Chinese characters are very popular as tattoos. It made me wonder – are there a bunch of tattooed people from China walking around with cool English letters and phrases on their backs, arms, shoulders, chests or wherever?
251. Do you know anyone who, instead of saying they went to see a movie or are going to go see a movie, instead of saying ‘movie’ they say ‘show?’ Is that a thing? I know at least two people who say that. Do other people say it? Is that what people used to say?
252. Jack Grabbit will steal your money and your honey, and it’s not funny, just so you know. We’ve got to kill that bunny. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
253. What do they call French Toast in France? I think they actually call it something, but I feel like they should just call it toast. In France, do they call half burnt dry Wonder Bread ‘American Toast?’
254. Do other countries have different kinds of restaurants? If you were visiting Italy, would/could you go to a German restaurant? And if you live in Italy, are you ever sick of it? “Oh Jeez, we’re having Italian again? Can’t we get some tacos or some French Toast or something? Jesus, I can’t eat all these carbs!”
255. I rarely have anything like writers block. The closest I get is something I’ve named ‘writer paralysis.’ Sometimes I have so many different things I want to write that they compete with each other and I end up not writing any of them.
256. I’m seriously considering getting a cape. I don’t think I’d wear it very often – it would have to be mostly for special occasions. I think I’d wear it to the grocery store once in a while, though, just to mix it up.
257. Where could you even buy a cape?
258. I’m seriously considering never wearing a tie or a suit again. But I know I’ll have to, because of society.
259. If you’ve read any of these blogs of mine, you have a pretty good idea of my political views. Let me just say from experience, though, that you cannot deficit spend for ever. Live and learn, I guess.
260. Have you ever had an apple-pear? It’s the most delicious fruit I’ve ever eaten. I assume it’s some kind of human made hybrid fruit that’s probably some kind of abomination to nature and is going to make my brain melt or something. I don’t care. I’d eat them everyday if I could.
261. I am currently playing a character. I haven’t decided if the character’s name is Mr. Awesome or Aaron.
262. See, as I was saying, awful and awesome are the same word. Something can be awesomely bad or awfully good. How do you know which is the right one to use?
I see you made it to the end. That wasn’t so bad, was it? That was a quick one, like a little appetizer. There’s more, always more, but that’s enough for now. Now get off of the internet and go do something constuctive, would ya?