One year to the day I started this blog.
What a shitshow.
We done fucked up ‘Murica.
Seriously, we fucked up.
No really, don’t you people understand what we’ve done?
I fucked up. I always thought I was engaged, that my words here, or to people, all the years of debating and arguing for the great liberal way. But I’ve never really done anything of any substance, really, to help. Smug in my righteousness and my belief that people are good.
But any substantive change, or any sustained change in this stolen country of ours has never been given. It’s had to be taken from those who don’t want it to change, who never meant to give it to you in the first place. And when change is affected, when people who don’t want to change feel pushed around, there is always a backlash. How could we be so blind and complacent to not see it coming?
It was funny, right? The Orange Menace was a cartoon. I’m admitting I didn’t take him or his chances very seriously, right up to last Tuesday.
But my smugness and my overestimation of the people of this country is inexcusable. I wish apologising would be anything other than hollow words, as hollow as these words I’m typing now.
I really haven’t done anything still, except to swear and badger people on the internet.
These words are nothing – words are nothing, except when they’re backed up by action, especially in situations like these.
But the only action I want to take right now is to punch someone in the face. I’ll admit I’m not thinking straight.
Or maybe I am. Maybe the high road is not the right road anymore. We’ve been taking, or have been thinking we’ve been taking the high road all this time. And they went low, lower than any candidate since George Wallace. They don’t care about our supposed niceties.
What did you think was going to happen? Did you think people wouldn’t be pissed? And now, after 8 years of obstructing and shitty snide ass remarks (thanks Obama) you all what – you want us to all reconcile? Get along? Hold hands and sing folk songs? The line is so firmly and deeply drawn in the sand it’s going to be a fucking moat.
So you’re not racist, sexist, or any “ist”. Maybe your President-Erect isn’t either. But his words and your vote has enabled and given voice to those who are. They think it’s ok. They don’t have to hide. They don’t have to use code words anymore. They’ve been legitimised, or feel like they have been. Did you think about that? Did you care? Or were you just naive?
Or worse, you are racist. So there’s that.
I was a kid during Reagan. I was smug and righteous and slept walked through Bush and Clinton and Bush again.
See, it never really affected me. I’m a regular old white guy. I’m usually going to be ok.
But now you’re fucking with my family. I have a transgender niece. My nieces and nephew are of African heritage. My aunt is a lesbian. And President-Elect Reality Show has talked shit about all of them, and given a voice to people that hate them.
I have a daughter. You may too. Look your daughter in the eye and tell her how you voted the way you did. How he said he grabbed or can grab pussy. Or how he taunted women because they menstruate. Or how he assaults women, but got elected anyway. Or etc etc etc.
I had to lie to mine and tell her it’s going to be ok. So fuck you very much for that.
The hardest things part has been knowing that people I’m related to voted this way. People who I share genetics with. People I’m friends, or friendly with. I know I’ve “offended” some of them. I don’t want to yell at them. But I’m really really really angry with them. And I’m not sure how that’s going to work. Really, I’m not sure.
We’re all to blame. We didn’t take it seriously enough. We’re at worst overt, at best complicit.
So what can I do? I’m not sure yet I’ve never done anything before except pay lip service to my so called ideals. All I’ve done so far is be super angry and listen to angry punk rock songs at work so I don’t get into any arguments. I have to find a way to be constructive. Or maybe destructive, too.
Listen, this isn’t funny anymore. He’s not funny. And the people he’s surrounding himself with are awful awful people. It’s been one week and we’re at each other’s throats. Don’t you see? Hillary would have just been regular old corrupt. You could have obstructed her just fine. This is not good. This is so altogether different. How can you not see that?
Jesus, what have we done?