#38 – Random 8, or I write the Blogs that make the whole world read…

“Out, damned spot,” he thought, quoting Lady MacBeth to himself as he ordered all of the words out of his head.

Pure nonsense ahead.  Proceed with caution.

294.  My wife is 47.  I’ll be 45 in 20 days.  We have no plans on having more kids.  Lately, though, I’ve been telling her we should have another one just so we could name him or her Yahtzee and I’m not kidding.  I’m thinking Yahtzee Boggle, or Yahtzee Monopoly Como.

295.  No one plays Monopoly anymore.  I love Monolopy.  I have at least 5 different versions in my basement getting moldy (Star Wars, Superhero, Original, others).  The wife and kid have no interest.  If anyone wants to play some Monopoly HMU, ok?

296.  There are sayings which I’m sure are older that people keep saying but the origin of them is lost on the people saying them.  It annoys me.  I could probably look them up, but I’d rather bitch about them here.  Like, ‘Pie in the Sky’.   Where did that one come from?

297.  People still say, ‘tip of the cap’ or ‘hats off’ but no one really wears the kinds of hats they used to tip to other people.

298.  Oh!  Except for cowboy hats.  Listen, I don’t mean offense, and I look ridiculous on a daily basis so I’m not one to really judge, but cowboy hats are ridiculous.

299.  If someone wants to buy me a cowboy hat, however, I’ll wear it.  I’d prefer like one of the ten gallon ones tho.

300.  Cowboys didn’t wear cowboy hats and you can look that up!

301.  ‘Flying by the seat of my pants.’

302.  We were debating (‘we’.  Me and this old dude at work.  No one else had any idea what we were talking about) whether it’s ‘In like Flint’ or ‘In like Flynn.’  It’s Flynn, right?  After Errol Flynn the actor?  Because of all the sex he got or some kind of early Hollywood sordidness?  Anyone?

303.  I fell like the News, whether real or fake, should have a better name.  Maybe it should be called ‘What just happened,’ or maybe, “What’s Happening?’

304.  Rerun was my, and everyone’s favorite character on the show ‘What’s Happening.’  I feel like people sleep on Dee, tho.

305.  ‘What’s Happening’, ‘The Jeffersons’, ‘Sandford and Son’, and ‘Good Times’ were some of my favorite sitcoms from the day.  I even liked ‘Gimme a Break’ and ‘Diff’rent Strokes’.  Admittedly, I don’t watch a lot of network TV anymore, but do they even try to make mainstream sitcoms that star and are centered around non-white charactes?  I mean, I’d settle for 227.  Jackee’!!

306.  ‘Happy Camper?’  How did being happy while camping become equated with satisfiaction?

307.  If you are having a bad day or did not achieve something you set out to do are you then a ‘Sad Camper’?  No, of course you are not because life is not camping.

308.  I don’t like it when people want you to pick the ‘good news’ or ‘bad news’ first.  It an impossible decision, a Catch-22, and it’s really just a way for the person giving the news to get off the hook.

309.  Do you know where the phrase ‘Catch-22 comes from, and if so can you describe the situation of the original ‘Catch-22?’  Anyone who isn’t my father because of course he knows?

310.  Couldn’t ‘morning’ just be called ‘beforenoon’?  Or couldn’t we come up with a better word for ‘afternoon’?  I’m considering ‘Naptime’ but am open to other/better suggestions.

311.  When does afternoon become evening?  Is there an official demarcation or is it arbitrary?

312. If you greet someone at the moment the clock strikes 12pm do you say ‘Good Noon’ to them?

313.  I’m sure there are many people I’d like to have over for dinner or maybe get a cup of coffee with.  But the three I’ve been thinking about lately are Dave Chapelle, Stephen Colbert, and Colin Kaepernick.

314.  I think maybe Stephen Colbert should run for President, if we’re still allowed to vote for things 4 years from now.  Why not!  I’d vote for him.

315.  Here’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, mostly because that’s what I do – think about nonsense that no one else thinks about.  So Mexico.  Settled (invaded?  Colonized?  Stolen?) by Spain, yes?  In fact, most of the Americas from Mexico on down were part of the Spanish Empire, from the moment Columbus gutted his first native?  I mean, that correct, or mostly correct, right?

Spain is in Europe, yes?  So most of the people, from Mexico down, are decendents of people from Spain?  Some?  A lot?

So Mexicans on down that have Spanish ancestry would be European?   And Mexico on down are part of The Americas?

So they’re… European-Americans?

Are Spanish people whit–never mind I’ll save that for next time.  We can also discuss how black people are also European and how white people are dumb…next time.  (Italians are white, right?  Wait, don’t say either way in case we’re not.)

316.  If anyone wants to buy me a Colin Kaepernick jersey to go with my cowboy hat I’ll wear them at the same time.  I’ll go clubbing then check out some line dancing later on.

That’s all I got right now suckers.  Soooo lame.